you know that rooted feeling that you're not where you were meant to be, with that persistent chiding at the back of your mind telling you you need to, and should have done things different? i'm sitting on one of those. it's been a year now that i've known it to be not right- which means it's been a year now, that i haven't done what i had to do.
so after all these years, i lay awake till six alone tracing the textured lines on the ceiling with my eyes, likening it to stories i’ve been told and try piece the spirals together in a dozen, dozen creative ways to find a good fit that will grant me a peaceful sleep. like before, this is done to no avail. unlike before, i do not possess the strength to do right by myself because all I have left from a respectful past is a shadow made of bravado remnants. maybe tomorrow. A.
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AuthorAnnabelle Sue Ngieng Archives
June 2017
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